From the Toyota Yaris, which makes you want to step on bugs, to the Ford Fusion, which looks like an excuse to finally use that excess chrome Ford had laying around since the failure of the ’59 Edsel, to the entire line of Dodge Trucks which strives to tell the whole world that the owner wants to drive a Tonka 18 Wheeler when he grows up, the Oughts have presented us with a dizzying aray of quickly forgettable cars. This is not to say that there haven’t been a few exceptions: The Jaguar XKR Convertible, the Infinity G37 or the Mercedes SLS AMG. But none of these have been cars built for the common person for whom car payments have meanings, who don’t have a servant called Otto bringing the car around to the front, or whose schedule includes trips to the day care and grocery store. (The one true exception is the Mazda 3. The 2010 design is a jaunty little car, reasonably priced, which tools around town with a headlight to headlight idiot smile on its grill that proclaims ” Hey, the world is going to hell, lets have some FUN!”)

Are you familiar with the saying:

“Aim High. At least that way you won’t shoot yourself in the foot.”

Prior to this past week, I’d have said I aimed at least as high as most. Now I’m beginning to wonder if I need glasses, or maybe a level.

I suppose there’s no reasonable way I could have known that the kitchen drain was going to suddenly lose that most important attribute of drains everywhere, specifically draining¹. Likewise, there really wasn’t any way I could have known that my tire was going to tire of it’s oh so common shape and try something with a bit more eccentricity². And, how could I have predicted that the power would go out as I was putting the finishing touches on everything, aside from the alarming correlation between putting the finishing touches on stuff for The Schmee, and power outages at my house.

On the other hand, I could have spent less time trying to be clever in my previous post, and more time working on the photos. (BANG!) It would also have been a good idea, when last I reinstalled all of my software, to make sure that my (relatively minimal) color management was still working. (BANG!) I certainly could have taken better notes the last time I did this (or the time before), so I would realize how long it was really going to take to process all the data. (BANG!)

In any event, now my tires are round, my drains do, my color is managed, my photos are processed, and despite the fact that it’s a half a week later than I expected, the photos are where they belong.

Anyone seen my toes?

p.s. Just so there’s an excuse for posting this on the Theater Schmeater blog, here’s a few photos from the show, that hopefully don’t give anything away.  Apologies for the lack of captioning.  I barely know what the character names are, and haven’t a clue what the actor’s names are.

¹Anyone know why the drain clogs when it’s time to cook dinner? I mean, nothing says “Dinner Time!” like cleaning out the kitchen drain.
²Now I know why egg shaped wheels never made it.

Pablo Picasso, your procrastinating paparazzi here¹, just back from an extended journey inside my own skull².  Recently I had the opportunity to shoot some photos of The Schmee’s latest show “Jihad Jones and the Kalashnikov Babes”.  Man…  How could you not love a show with a title like that? But it’s not just a title.  It’s got a little of everything.  It’s got Angry Arabs³, Annoying Agents⁴, Beautiful Babes⁵, Driven Directors⁶, and Ravishing Receptionists⁷.  It’s got scrumptious sets, and lovely lights⁸.  It’s even got atrocious alliteration⁹.  Oh.  Hang on.  That’s just me.

All kidding aside¹⁰, this is a fun show, with humor, action, a point or two to make, and a whole lot more.  If you miss it, I think you’ll be disappointed.  On kind of a side note, not that the majority of this post isn’t a side note writ large, photographing the show offered me a couple of firsts in my long and relatively un-illustrious theater career.  This show marks the first time I’ve ever arrived at a theater and been greeted with “I know you’re not alphabetized but…”.  It also marks the first time I’ve ever been to a final dress rehearsal with assigned seating.  Kind of takes you back.

And, as a final note, the award for best outfit seen at tech-dress, not worn by an actor in the production goes to…

Managing Director Teri Lazzara
for p.j.s, complete with Rod Stewart shirt and rubber boots.

Where else can you go to see that?

Now, if you’ll wait just a moment, Peggy will be right with you.

¹For the sake of accuracy, management would like to note that the photographer’s name is not Pablo, and the term paparazzi is  not accurate, given that the photographer was invited to take pictures.

²We’ll leave it to the reader to figure out what the purpose of said journey might have been, and whether or not there was any possibility it could have been successful.

³Management would like to note that the term “Angry Arabs” is intended to denote a specific emotional state (anger) present in a specific Arab at a specific time, not to imply that Arabs are generally angry.

⁴Once again, the term “Annoying Agent” is intended to refer to a specific agent present in the play.  We are reasonably certain that there must be numerous agents out there who aren’t annoying.

⁵The term “Beautiful Babes”, while regarded in some circles as demeaning to women, is intended in a purely descriptive sense.  Which, come to think of it, is probably as demeaning as its use in any other sense.

⁶What can we say.  Have you ever met a director who wasn’t driven?

⁷Management acknowledges that the title in the term “Ravishing Receptionist” is likely less than accurate.  We considered requiring the photographer to use “Pulchritudinous Personal Assistant”, a phrase in which the title is probably more accurate, which expresses the desired sentiment, and which provides a useful challenge to the reader’s vocabulary, but it had the drawback of too may words to fit the alliteration scheme, and seemed on the surface to express the opposite sentiment.

⁸We hadn’t planned on footnoting these as we couldn’t see any way anyone could object to the uses of the terms in question.  However, just in case, we had no intention of offending the advocates of scrumptiousness, loveliness, sets, or lighting.

⁹Management would like to note that there is no particularly noticeable alliteration in the show, our loud mouthed propagandist aside.

¹⁰Given recent history, we view this as exceedingly unlikely.

David Gassner and Andrew Litzky. 2009 Photo by K. Brian Neel.

Here’s the line-up for the final week:

Monday, 11/30 = Peggy Gannon

Tuesday, 12/1 = Jonah Von Spreecken

Wednesday, 12/2 = Marty Mukhalian

Don’t miss it!  Get your tickets here:  http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/85169

TPS Members are only $10 at the door. 

Were these pictures taken before or after our guest actors joined David on the stage???

David Gassner and Aimee Bruneau. 2009 Photo by K. Brian Neel.

Ray Tagavilla and David Gassner. 2009 Photo by K. Brian Neel.

David Gassner and Ryan Higgins. 2009 Photo by K. Brian Neel.

David Gassner and Terri Weagant - opening night of Tim Crouch's "An Oak Tree." 2009 Photo by K. Brian Neel.

Two of Seattle’s hottest actors join David G. for Tim Crouch’s An Oak Tree.  Ray Tagavilla = Monday. 11/23 and Andrew Litzky = Tuesday, 11/24.

Tonight - 11/17/09 join us for An Oak Tree with guest actor Mary Machala.  Mary is  fresh from directing Edward Albee’s At Home at the Zoo which is currently running Thurs.-Sat. nights at 8 pm at The Schmee.  And tomorrow - Wednesday, 11/18 - come on along and see Keith Dahlgren.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
We’re ready to announce the guest actors for the first week of performances of An Oak Tree:
Monday, November 9 (Opening Night):  Terri Weagant (Act a Lady)
Tuesday, November 10:  Ryan Higgins (The American Pilot)
Wednesday, November 11:  Aimee Bruneau (Director, American Buffalo)
Tickets are $12 in advance, $15 at the door - get ‘em now at Brown Paper Tickets (http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/85169)

An Oak Tree, by Tim Crouch, is a play for two actors, one of whom has never seen the play or read the script.  A new actor, invited from Seattle’s finest, will join Artistic Director David Gassner on stage each night. Check this blog regularly to find out who’s up next. We’ll announce each week’s actors a few days before the performances.

David Gassner and Secret Actor Man